Jul 292014

Three years ago I applied for US L1 visa. After getting all company paperwork in order, I had to fill DS-160 form before I could even come to the embassy.

Application process threw me down the memory lane since it required annoying precision when it came to education and previous work engagements. I usually know a year when most of important events in my life took place, for quite a few I even know a month. But this was probably first time in my life that anybody asked me about exact start date of my high school and college.

Then questionare took a stupid turn. I am sure that other country’s questionnaires are probably as dumb but I was surprised that anyone would include “Do you seek to engage in espionage, sabotage, export control violations, or any other illegal activity while in the United States?” as a question on their form. Maybe you could catch world’s-most-stupid-criminal this way but even that is probably farfetched idea. I would enjoy seeing statistics on this question. How many people ever answered yes?

Questions following that one were no better. I had to read most of them twice just to be sure I was not hallucinating and it took a super-human strength to answer them “no”. For example, one that asked about my involvement in genocide just begged for a description of my crimes toward pig population (hams, sausages, bacon; you name it, I did it). But alas I was a coward.

One explanation that I’ve heard about the purpose of these questions was that they allow legal system to stick Visa Application Fraud in addition to other convictions if you do naughty things you promised not to do. While this has a ring of truth to it, I personally find it silly at best.

After filling that again for my wife and for my kids I was ready for an interview process in the embassy…

This post is intended to be a light read and hopefully draw a few smiles here or there. Don’t take anything you read too seriously. It is intentionally overly generalized, takes into account only my personal experience, information might be stale, and I won’t be above lying for the comedy effect. Be warned!

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